The heat is melting me! Thou i am observing the no shower rule, i am allowed to do a hot water-towel clean down and i need it but after the short moment of comfort, after a hot bowl of soup and a hot horlick to replenish and encourage better milk flow, i am all hot and perspiring!
Also the meals i have been eating is filled with ginger lots of the good heat to chase away the wind in the body! all the good brews of soup mum makes for quantity milk flow, to purify my blood, dishes to warm my stomach and body, warms me up and make me feel good, even thou i feel like i am melting away with the heat ....
But last nite, sleeping was a big problem again... baby A slept and baby R kept getting off the bed to want to see her sister but she was making so much noise, baby A cries... so daddy and i took turns to be in the room but somehow jus as when baby R is near to dozing off, one of us sure to open the door and she bounces up from her pillow immediately... and she smiles at us when the lights are switched on... WHY? cos baby A had poopoo and needed to be cleaned up immediately... when gx tot baby A finally is settled... he left her in the cot and i was with baby R... the only thing he never expected was to hear me shout. i was frustrated the moment gx left the room, baby R sat up, got up as quick as lightning... got over me and made noises to wake her little sis up... and sure baby A woke up crying so loud! I shouted at baby R and ask her to make meimei stop crying herself... i asked to see meimei's face... asking baby R if she liked meimei crying so hard!
baby R felt guilty and gx came in to take Baby A out of the room and i continued to tell baby R off in my prob loudest frustrated tone! Got her in bed and i kept biting on the issue she is having, not sleeping when told to do so and disturbing meimei, making meimei cry ... baby r rolled over to hug me and kiss me and i was still at the melted point where i didnt let the issue pass and i told her off for her terrible behaviour.... till gx had to come into the room to stop me... telling me the whole house can hear my voice... thats the indication someone's prob pissed with me...
baby R and i were left in the room and i calmed down, talked to her and told her i tried to talk to her in the nice tone, so listen and do as i told her and things won't end up that i needed to shout at her to make her understand that mummy's tired and in pain, daddy's not well and meimei need rest and so does herself... i told her mummy tried to massage her to spend time on the bed with her but getting up and rolling all over and accidentally hurting my wound makes me very mad... and in the end everyone's not happy... i held and massage baby R's hand to sleep....
Told Gx i had to give baby R one time the Hard way of lecture so that we can handle better nites ahead without her having to challenge us cos next week, he will be back to work and having so many days off, i am pretty sure he will be tight down with work up to his neck to come home early... and to face this situation day after day... what had to be stop had to be done... i am also not sure when my inlaws will be back to work cos they are playing an important role to support me by helping to take over baby R's routine.... thou it isnt the way i do it and we end up having in bed at almost 11pm and usual baby R's sleeping rule is she take an hour to get to lala land.... but we have not much choice cos of baby A's unexpected poos and cries... hope things will turn better...
Fil came into the room to tell me not to shout at the gal last nite... this morning, mil tell me how baby R misses us when we were away...
this morning, my gal woke up next to me, smiling. as usual jus like any other weeks, any other days before baby A came along, i told baby R : I love your smiles in the morning... Last nite after baby R slept, i used the Shicida method, talked to my gal apologising to her that i had to resort to shouting at her but i needed her to understand and help me thru... and i told her How much i love her and that she will always have a special place in my heart and that will always be hers and baby A will dig her own hole in my heart and fill it up... We had a good conversation and we laughed, kissed and hugged. Daddy joined in and we had a great start to our morning.
After baby R slept, we slept till baby A woke up for a feed and i tried to latched her on again and it worked! i managed to get her fed and while burping her, i spoke to baby A too... telling her how much daddy and mummy loved her and we know she wants us to know her needs and she wants us to get things done for her but i said to her she need to stop crying so hard cos we feel the pain to see her turn so red and it slows us down when we try to be fast...cos we get so worried... Today, she still cried but it wasnt like constant like before... she did managed to stop and we got to work as fast as could to make her comfortable... of cos there are still moments that she cry thru but i was glad at least she cried lesser today!
today is suppose to be the day i give birth ... its sure a hot day but my body had a weird reaction when the wind blew at me... i felt cold thru my body and aches... the cold send chills thru my body! so i did lie down to rest, hiding under the blanket and melting under the heat but i felt cold... and hot... now its raining heavily... sure hope the aches in my body dun get worse... esp the shoulders cos i get very tired after pumping or latching my baby ... cried thru this post esp the part where i typed about baby R... sure hope some decisions can be left to me ... not gx... cos somehow i hate it he consults his mum before me at times and this makes things so difficult when his mum thinks his idea is workable... thats another melt down i have today... hope we can solve it...
2 comments:
Gosh alot of work! Sure hope u get more help, when is ur nanny coming in to help?
i can handle jus baby R is a handful... hope she settles down soon... c.nanny i asked her to come Sunday... cos i am the type need time to settle down 1st... still got lots to keep... finding space is a challenge...
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