me... hurt

how come i can have so many entries done up? baby A is in hospital. baby R didnt napped at all since morning after class, super excited with her new smurf gift, she slept really early today, dosing off by 9pm... i pumped and loaded photos and becos Gx  went out to meet his buddy, i tend to be nervous about their meetup cos they drink... and somehow this never changed since we knew each other... gx never makes it back on time when he states a time... which i hate since the day i know him... so i can't rest cos my mind can't stop worrying and i can't stop feeling upset... so i decided to do my updates to keep myself busy... i have lots of baby clothings to fold but i am in no mood to clear them right now!

My mood is so down and i can't stop crying even when i type how happy my baby R was with her surprised gifts today...i was grateful she was made so happy thru the day! Now to make things worse... my left breast hurts and i can't pump now... damn worried i tear any tissue in my breast... its really painful! i need to think positive... i need to stay positive...

Called my mum earlier to cry and i was told off and mum was upset i still can't take things easy.... i wished i didnt have to call her but i was really upset and gx wasnt gog to listen to me.... now all i want is the pain to go away.... so i can continue to pump... why must it hurt now!